Leaf life

I could have also titled this: A very interesting way to spend 900 rupees.
No, this has nothing whatsoever to do with cards, and doesn’t refer to my liking for ‘occasionally’ playing assorted card games for amusement.
I literally meant leaves, the kinds that grow on trees.
Even if you’re a non-believer in destiny, fate and other concepts of the like such as me, it is still a fascinating amusing manifestation of the same to come across.

Save me some effort and read this stub… It’ll take a minute
WikiPedia Nadi

Yes you read that right… A leaf was written about you before you were born detailing everything about your life. And these leaves are believed to exist.
What crap I thought, but then when my Grandfather told me that he got it done 30 years ago and that he attributes greater than 90% accuracy to it, I thought what the hell, it’ll cost me 900, that too if the leaf is found !
I know of a lot of people whose leaves weren’t found and thus weren’t even charged a penny, so that made it sound even more legitimate than before.
More out of curiosity than I hope I set out on my journey to find my ‘leaf’.
It’s a simple process really… you give your thumb print at the concerned centre and they locate the stack of leaves that may or may not contain your ‘leaf/life’.
After they locate your leaf-stack, which can take anything from a week to 6 months, you are required to visit to see if your specific leaf exits. Apparently, the probability of finding your leaf is 1/3, which means of 3 people that try 1 is successful in locating their leaf.
Now it gets scary
Then they start asking you questions, which by no means are exhaustive. Here’s what makes it more legitimate, you aren’t supposed to give them any info, simply answer a lot of true or false questions.
Does your name start with a vowel? Were you born in March? Do you have a sibling?
It may be noted that since I am a computer engineer who’s very interested in logical deduction, I can testify to the fact that the questions were in know way exhaustive for a person to figure out all that information about me and fleece me. I know how Karnaugh maps and the like work and the sequence of steps were nothing that seemed to suggest deduction by elimination or such malafide intentions.

So it goes on and on with lots of questions till one second when your heart freezes when the rishi starts reading the next leaf. I think it was the 167th attempt in the second stack. I was gasping for breath on holding my head, but I was warned in advance that it has taken people trips to 4 cities and over five thousand attempts.
So anyway imagine my shock and disbelief when somebody who has no information about me, not even my name, starts reading for verification purposes a leaf that goes
Your name is…Your father’s name…Your mother’s name…The fact that I have no siblings, what I do , what I have studied, what my parents do, assorted personal details about the family that no outsider would generally know, the fact that my only uncle is abroad, and the like.

Thankfully my friends associate some credibility with what I say otherwise this would sound like a hallucinogen intoxicated punk with attention deficit disorder trying to get 15 seconds of fame.

So anyway step one was thumb print submission, step two was leaf identification.
Scariest of all is step 3. The leaf contains one’s future right, so the person starts reading your leaf in front of you while simultaneously making a voice recording of the same.

It carefully details aspects of you personal life, career, family, health over you ENTIRE LIFE’S DURATION.
Covering your entire life in spans of 3 years or greater, such as 23-25,25-27,27-30 it elaborates on everything from when you’ll get married, how many kids, professional growth and occupation. Specific Health problems in terms of the organs effected and at what age and so on… (hypothetical) example Lung related problem between the years 47-50. It even tells me of specific events to watch out for and impending disasters. Goes right through when there would be marital problems, to even the Health problems the girl I’ll marry will subsequently have and at what age, and the marriage is also at an already defined age !!!

WHAT THE BLOOOOODY FCUK IS GOING ON??????
HOW CAN PEOPLE IN MY PARENTS AGE GROUP AND GRANDPARENTS AGE GROUP, people who are successful professionals, doctors, lawyers and engineers, supposedly brilliant in their fields testify with respect to their PERSONAL LIVES TO the accuracy of this god forsaken thing. I refuse to believe my entire life can be broadly summarized in 16 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is anybody out there…..!!!!??? Say something!!!!!!!
PS- Please do not switch your phones off at night dear friends, nor put them on silent, and whatever else. I will call. I will not act brave or calm.

Peace.