Drawing lines, beliefs and errors

Where does one draw a line? Does one draw a line at all. Isn't it easier to just distance yourself a wee bit from what/who bothers you, there by maintaining social etiquette and not shutting a door of to something. That's how the utilitarians put it anyway. As far as errors go, I am always happier making a decision based on my instinct and go wrong then not decide at all.

And when your instincts are at loggerheads with your beliefs, and right or wrong both become context specific, taking your dilemmas to their zenith, there is absolutely no way to extricate the labyrinth unscathed.The fork in the road I came across is one that I hope NOBODY ever has to traverse, a decision no one ever has to take, and the consequences no one ever has to cope with.

The picturesque river I was paddling down bifurcated to reveal selecting either a continued blithe relationship with a very close and special friend, or standing by what I think is correct. There was no right answer, and never did I realize being a good loyal friend would be different from being a conscientious person who can look at himself in the mirror. Of course, the easiest way out was what was screamed violently at me, in terms of a personal decision made by someone else not really concerning me or my life doesn't interfere with my value systems, and shouldn't affect me at all. Right? Anybody saying that clearly doesn't know me too well in the first place, and besides, it's one of the very few things I'm so persnickety about. The reason behind that too is most simple and deductible, as I think one tends idealize things they've never experienced themselves. Maybe I 'll be kicking myself when I'm in the same situation, feeling like most of my generation does about it being no big deal , but I SURE AS HELL DOUBT THAT. I may have been in what's called emotional pain , but I really didn't regret it or wouldn't want it any other way.

What was worse wasn't just the inevitable, but how it unfolded. Supposed affection evaporating to leave behind irritation, flaring tempers and worst of all continuous building of mistrust. Scurrilous accusations of hypocrisy, disloyal betrayal, bruiting and complete lack of care with considerable amounts of pain and anger were required to rip apart a bond that otherwise appeared Oh So Strong ! I guess it wouldn't have been possible to just walk away. I still miss my friend a lot, I do , not that I'll ever admit it to her.

I do still somewhere feel happy that I stood by something I believe in strongly, but why is this happiness so tearfully painful? !

And yes, there are two sides to every story, this is just mine, but it's not some weak attempt to exculpate myself.